Newport Manners & Etiquette: Double-Dipping Etiquette, Annoying Lovers & How To Be The Best Guest
Thursday, November 09, 2017
Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners + Etiquette Expert
What's the real reason I get annoyed with my boyfriend? Would you loudly out a double-dipper, what girls fear most and how to be the perfect guest were all questions to Didi Lorillard at NewportManners this week.
Double dipping and sharing etiquette
Q. Have you ever felt like Timmy in the hilarious double dipping scene from the Seinfeld episode when he says to George, "You dipped the chip... you took a bite... and you dipped again"?
Despite the fact that scientists agree that double dipping is the biggest way to spread diseases, dips are a staple at our holiday gatherings. As our family's contribution to Thanksgiving dinner this year we've been asked to bring a festive dip. I cringe, imagining what disgustingly dirty places my nephews and nieces may have placed their fingers prior to dipping -- after fondling the chips. And I'm wondering what nasty diseases, including strains of the herpes virus and TB, are passed on through residual saliva lurking in dips!
Would you loudly out a double-dipper? JC, Baltimore
A. Whether you're dipping a chip, bread stick, cracker or carrot stick into salsa, guacamole, hummus or a creamy/ cheesy veggie dip, there are always those who double dip. By taking a bite, and then making a second stab at the dip with the offended chip that leaves behind others at risk.
You have two choices:
- It's your dip, so you can guard your dip. Suggest to approaching dippers that they turn their chip around for the return second dip to prevent their filthy germs from sending everyone at the gathering to the emergency room.
- Or you can bring a nice big wedge of aged Vermont cheddar cheese and an assortment of crackers as your contribution instead of the dip. Ahead of time cut up half of the cheese into bite size squares. Arrange on a festive plate with a cheese knife. Decorate the platter with fresh radishes, baby tomatoes, or cranberries and add a bit of edible greenery.
You're absolutely right. Despite the fact that chips 'n' dips are actually 'salt and fat traps' a holiday party without a dip practically never happens.
- Why not skip the 'salt and fat traps' of chips 'n' dips and provide flatbread or pita instead of overly salty tortilla and chips.
Unless you're into contributing to your family's unhealthy cravings, don't make a bacteria-spreading machine as your dip.
- Instead provide a thick creamy, dense guacamole, hummus or cheesy dip that is less likely to slip off the bitten chip or cracker when re-dipping. A thinly consistent dip - such as a salsa - spreads more germs than a thick dip because it is harder to keep the salsa on the chip.
- Scientists agree that if you must double-dip you should at least turn your chip or cracker around.
A survey by the Philadelphia Flip and Dip Company discovered the following about chip 'n' dip devotees and critics:
- One in five would ask someone to stop double dipping.
- One in ten have licked their fingers before picking up another chip or cracker out of the basket.
- One in five say it is totally acceptable to double-dip.
- Six in ten adults see double-dipping as a huge no-no.
- Sixty percent said double dipping was a big party faux pas.
- Only one in five of those 60% would stop someone if they caught them in the act of double dipping.
63% said seeing double dipping "leaves them feeling angry, disappointed and embarrassed about their fellow party-goes."
- If the holidays wouldn't be festive if you couldn't double dip, the consensus is to at least turn your piece of pita bread around before making that second dip into the guacamole.
- Scientists agree that double dipping in NOT okay, NOT healthy for anyone and NOT cool.
The real reason we get annoyed with our partner
Q. As much as I think I love my boyfriend, his bad habits annoy me. I point them out -- time and again -- by reminding him to put the toilet seat back down, shine his shoes, throw his used tissues away or not to scrape his plate at the dinner table, etc. Worst of all, he's a hoarder. Will he ever break these bad habits? I sound like a broken record complaining over and over about the petty ways he annoys me. Do you think he does them on purpose to get my attention? EB, Dorset, VT
A. Some irritation in a relationship is a good thing. It can be stimulating. But most couples would agree that it is not okay to drive each other crazy. Being able to handle low-level conflict is an essential relationship skill. Recognizing annoyances as a sign that life could be better is frustrating, but it gives you something to work on.
- Don't beat yourself up about letting an annoyance get under your skin, just get back on track.
- Talk about what's really bothering you.
- Let him know what irritates you and find out what annoys him about your behavior.
Often when partners are annoying each other it can be playful. Some annoyances are pointless. Others can trigger change. Look at it this way, annoyances can be a sign of a strong relationship.
On the one hand, it might be boring to eliminate all frustrations with one's partner; on the other hand being yourself means you have strong feelings. Take annoyances as a sign that things could be better -- and work on it.
How to be the good guest who will be invited back
Q. What exactly is a good guest? I'm not particularly outgoing, but my boyfriend -- as it turns out -- is a real party animal and especially loves Christmas. I try to get into the spirit and look with envy at how easily he glad handles everyone whether he knows them or not. Any advice on how to be a good guest would be appreciated. CH, Seattle
A. The best guests are usually themselves the most experienced hosts. The more you personally entertain, the practice will make it easier for you to be the perfect guest.
- arrive late
- be a no-show
- play with food
- get drunk
- take home the remainder of the wine you brought
- eat more that your fair share of the food
- bring an uninvited guest or plus-one
- spend the evening staring at your phone and not mingling
- assume everyone knows your name and relationship status
- accept as soon as you receive the invite
- listen to your host's requests about coats, boots, gifts
- bring a small gift, if the invite hasn't stipulated otherwise and you know you won't be reciprocating
- be a self-sustaining guest
- introduce yourself, even if you vaguely know the person
- offer to help with the cleaning up
- send a thank-you text, message, note, or holiday card
What young girls fear
Q. We're worried about our daughter who doesn't go out much. She has a fear of going out whether to school or to the mall to meet friends. We're wondering if this is normal. She has an allowance, but buys everything she needs on line with a debt card. We think she spends too much time alone in her room on her laptop. How do we encourage her to socialize more? Name and location withheld
A. Be careful of what you wish for, especially if your daughter is college bound and is conscientiously working on her grades. The world is a really scary place right now. For many teenagers, being scrutinized by their peers while they're at school is about as much socializing as they can handle. Socializing outside of school may be social overload for her.
We found this survey conducted by Girlguiding you might like to take a look at. The research discovered that 55% of over 1,900 girls and young women ages seven to 21, say gender stereotypes affect their ability to say what they think.
The Girls' Attitues Survey found:
- Only a third of the girls feel pressure to live the 'perfect' llfe online.
- Only 47% feel their parents understand pressures they face on social media.
They're most worried about:
- How pictures of them will be used by others
- Threats from strangers
- Comparing themselves and their lives to others
- Seeing unwanted pornography
- Bullying from people they know
Highlight from the October 2017 Survey
- 54% of girls aged 11-21 have come across unwanted violent or graphic images online that made them feel upset or disturbed.
- 95% of girls aged 11-21 said the advertising industry should make sure adverts show more positive, diverse representations of girls and women.
- 57% of girls aged 11-21 don’t think politicians understand the issues girls and young women face today.
- 76% of girls aged 7-21 feel confident in digital skills.
Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners for her forthcoming book. You can follow Didi on Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, and Facebook
The Changing of the Leaves
One of the cool things about the fall season is the leaves on the trees and the colors that they change too.
According to smokeymountain.com, prime foliage season in New England is late September into early October.
Look forward to an enjoyable walk around the neighborhood and see how many different colors you can pick out, or just enjoy the beauty.
The fall season signifies the return of pumpkins. Pumpkin beer, pumpkin pie and most of all pumpkin picking.
Pumpkin picking is a timeless event for families, especially those with young kids who will love to just run around and grab whichever pumpkin looks good to them.
The Big E
The Big E in West Springfield, Massachusetts features a circus spectacular, Mardi Gras parade, agricultural competitions, arts & crafts, food contests, live music, and midway.
The Big runs from September 15 to October 1.
Great Pumpkin Festival
The Great Pumpkin Festival at the EcoTarium in Worcester is a must attend this fall in New England.
The event features more than 1000 carved pumpkins, live entertainment, family fun with trick-or-treating, displays and more.
Sam Adams Octoberfest Beer
One of the fun things about the changing of seasons is the changing of beer flavors and with fall comes Sam Adams Octoberfest.
The Oktoberfest idea was born in 1810 when Munich celebrated the Crown Prince's wedding with a 16-day party with a special beer.
Sam Adams builds off of that idea with a beer that is perfect for the season.
Phantom Gourmet Food Festival
The Phantom Gourmet Food Festival is an event to look forward too and it will be held on September 12 from 12- 4 p.m. on two streets next to Fenway Park.
Tickets are $40 in advance and online and will go up to $50 at the event.
The ticket includes sampling 100 of Phantom's foods from hot dogs and pizza to pulled pork and more. Beer and wine will be served on the street.
Get more information here.
The New England Patriots Return
The NFL returns and that means the defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are back.
The Patriots have won two of the last three Super Bowls and are heavily favored to win another this season.
The Patriots kick off their season on Thursday, September 7 against the Kansas City Chiefs.
A great fall family event, especially those with young kids, is apple picking.
Nothing more fun than grabbing the nicest looking apple that you can find, giving it a quick wash off and then biting into it. Delicious.
Columbus Day Festival on Federal Hill
Filled with great music and even better food, the Columbus Day Festival is a fall event to look forward to every season.
The feast will take place from October 7 through October 9.
Fall Boat Ride to Block Island
Though the summer weather is winding down, there is still great weather coming and great opportunities to get on the ferry and head over to Block Island for the day, or maybe even multiple days.
Fall trips to Block Island are something to look forward too.
Click here for more information.
For those nights, or days, where it's just a bit cooler out, there is nothing more comfortable than throwing on a fleece jacket and settling in for a fun day ahead.
The arrival of fall means it's time to start breaking those jackets out.
Drinking Apple Cider
Can't you already taste it? The sweet taste of apple cider returns with the fall season.
Head over to your local market and buy some, or maybe you know how to make your own or have your own recipe. Either way, drinking apple cider is something to look forward too.
Attend Waterfire in Providence
Summer may be nearing the end, but Waterfire
Waterfire is the premiere event in Providence and if you haven't gotten to one yet during the summer or fall season, now is the time to plan.
Waterfire is a great night out with different vendors, music and other entertainment lining the city streets while the river is lit up by the fire. For a really romantic and fun night, hop on a gondola ride.
The Return of Your Favorite TV Shows
One of the down sides of summer is that there is very little to watch on TV as far as new shows go. Thank goodness for Netflix and or HBO on demand.
However, the return of the fall season means the return of all the popular TV shows like Gotham, Game of Thrones, Arrow and several others.
Look forward to having something to watch at night after a long day at work.
Who's not looking forward to Halloween? Not looking forward to dressing up as your favorite character or as just a very spooky looking person and going out and collecting candy to last you days, months and longer.
Who isn't looking to forward to decorating their houses to make it the creepiest house on the block.
Halloween is great for kids and adults alike and is certainly something to look forward to.
Great Golf Weather Remaining
The end of Summer does not mean the end of golf season.
The fall is a great time of year for golfing at Harbor Lights or any of the courses across the state.
The fall offers some of the best golfing weather of the year, not too hot and not too cold.
Golf season has not left.
Harpoon Brewery Oktoberfest in Boston
Harpoon Brewery will hold their 27th annual Octoberfest from September 29 through September 30.
The event will feature Harpoon brews, bratwursts, chicken dancing and German chocolate cake eating contests as well as Oompah music.
Harpoon Brewery is located at 306 Northern Ave in Boston.
Click here for more information or for tickets.
Roger Waters at TD Garden
One of the musical highlights of the fall season is rock n' roll legend Roger Waters coming to Boston's TD Garden.
The former Pink Floyd star will play two shows in Boston, the first on Wednesday, September 27 and the second on Thursday, September 28.
King Richards Faire
Dive into history at King Richard's Faire, New England's oldest and largest Renaissance Festival and most beloved annual fall event. Dress up, play games and learn a lot at a fair that is a great fall event for the entire family.
The Fair runs from September 2 through October 22.
Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at Roger Williams Park Zoo
What better way to spend a fall evening than strolling through Roger Williams Park Zoo and viewing some cool Jack-O-Lanterns.
The Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at Roger Williams Park is a Rhode Island and New England Fall staple featuring thousands of illuminated pumpkins from October 5 to November 5 with admission from 6 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.